It must be Monday….

And it was during this moment of joy that the Bear made his move. What a jerk.

Oh, it must be Monday, because I just got pooed on.  As much as I’d like to be joking, I’m not.  This happens though, as a parent and as a human being.  Let’s be honest, we all get pooed on from time to time, and if you’re asking, the answer is yes, stepping in poo counts as being pooed on.  In the spirit of being lame and a self proclaimed dork, I have opted to write about said pooing, which otherwise gross and tediously boring, in the form of a Jedi.  You read right, I said Jedi.  Let’s proceed.

How did you know it was Monday?  An excellent question, Padawan.  The thing that makes it Monday in my Jedi home is when the force drops a piano of complaining and whining on my head.  You see, I go to church, like any Force fearing Jedi does, and church is…well…long.  3 hours long to be exact.  While I am edified by the teachings and comradery of the weird Jedi church, with two younglings, it creates logistical problems.  You see, I go to church at 1:30, and it goes until 4:30.  For most parents of young Jedi, you know that this is rejuvenating Force time where children center themselves and keep their parent from entering into the Dark Side and destroying their parents in what I can only assume becomes a revelation of who’s the dad and who’s the son and hands being cut off and lots of saying ‘no’ over and over again.  Sunday ultimately sets the tone for Monday, and with it comes more than just whining.

So what happened then, Master Jedi?  How did you get pooed on, and why didn’t the Force tell you so?  Funny you ask, young Padawan. The force did tell me.  I had a fantastic moment where my most rambunctious youngling, which whom I am working hard to shape his young mind into a strong and able Jedi, was sitting in my lap calmly while I worked at my computer.  A moment to be stolen for sure.  It was when this happened that Obi-Wan came into my head, and the whole interaction went like this:

Obi-Wan: Luke! Luke! You’re being pooed on!

Me: Whatever Obi-whine, you don’t know me!

To be fair to the still small voice of Obi-Wan, I felt something wet, but allowed my emotions of excitement get in the way of my feelings of achievement and love for my youngling.  In the end, he pooed on me, and I have failed as a Jedi.  He laughed at me for it too. Punk.

This is the gayest post ever…and not in a good way.