Fireworks just aren't scary enough. I like to give my kids the fear of god.
The 4th of July. A day to celebrate the independence of our country. It means independence, family and…well, blowing stuff up. This is a weekend for our whole family…a marathon of time. Sage gets pretty stoked about her cousins, we eat too much food, hit the pool, and then watch other people blow ish up. It’s tough because we stay up late, and do family stuff and eat a lot. Yeah, yeah, I know. Real tough. Let me walk you through a brotha’s day.
On Thursday, I had my Nephew over. He flew in from Utah and I don’t get to see him much. My Mom, who is the one who got him out here, had to work and he was gunna be sitting around watching TV all day. So I got him over here and we went to work. Cleaning. The garage area is horrifyingly dirty. I do all my wood cuts there as well as painting, and it was taking over the entire place so what better way to spend time with my Nephew I don’t see much than forcing him into manuel labor?
Friday, pretty much the same thing. I’m cool like that and the garage is that dirty. Fun for my Nephew? Probably not so much. Fun for me? Not just fun, but FTW.
yeah, we took it as a joke, and now I look like King Douche.
Saturday. Oh, Modern Bird, how I love the way you take over my life. That said, I’m taking a break. It’s a friggin’ holiday for heaven’s sake. So we roll to the pool. If you follow the Twitter, then you know I’m rocking a sexy tanline. So how better to celebrate such a tan line, AND the independence of our country than with a trip to a pool! This was an exciting time though because of all the times Megan has been to the pool, I’ve not been with the kiddos yet. Sage had a birthday in June and got some floaty wing things that allow her to be in the pool. It was a family affair too. My mom was coming with my nephew, my wife’s family was coming, so the cousins would be there…it was gunna be huge. I told Sage how excited I was to go swimming with her. She let me know that she would not be swimming with me, but with her grandmas. Boooooo. What can you do? Get the toy that Sage has where it sprays water and hose everyone down. Yes I did. I think I spied some ladies checking the tan line/guns too. I know…it’s irresistible.
So following the pool party (Great, now I’ve got Aquabats stuck in my head), we get changed, grab a nap, and prepare ourselves for the coming day. The 4th. It will require endurance, and patience. I know we can do it, but also know we will be paying for it for at least two days.
The wife being beautiful at the family BBQ
After church, we head over to the the Mom-in law’s for a BBQ. On the menu? Burgers, Hot Dogs and obesity. I could not stop eating. At one point my wife said to me “wow,” and gave me a look. You know what I’m talking about. I kept on. Sure and steady, like any ass should be. I was fueling up though…there was some fireworks to hit up in a few, and you better believe I was not going under nourished.
So the fireworks. Every year we have these, my wife calls dibs on the baby in the group. When Sage was little, it was her. Now that the Bear is the little one, it’s him. That’s ok though…I don’t think Sage minds it too much.
And so it goes. We have these weird family traditions that require us to participate in these masochistic marathons that try patience and sanity all in a odd name of freedom and patriotism. To mark it as our own (thanks chinese fireworks) we blow stuff up. I love every minute of it!
