:::UPDATE at the end of the post:::
So there are these PR companies that want to use your blog for advertising. That’s a fairly normal thing these days, right? I’ve made no reservations about my blog and the fact that I would more than likely not not be a hot spot of advertising. It’s purely a blog for the sake of being a blog mixed with little bit of narcissistic entertainment. I love to write when I can, I love the voice I’ve developed. It’s fun. So i found myself pretty surprised to get an email yesterday with a solicitation. As someone who uses social media and blogs for business, I have cringed (but also laughed) at the PR firms who sent thoughtless emails to bloggers expecting something for nothing. I say cringe, but the truth is, like most bloggers, I love it. It’s funny. We put in a lot of time and effort into these blogs and writings, and the big war right now is making people understand that our time is valuable. I believe that. We conduct our business according to that creed.
I digress. I was so floored by this business’ pitch, that I could not resist the temptation of responding, and writing about it. It’s pretty fantastic. I’ve withheld names, and website, but the comedy is ALL real. So here is the pitch:
Hello,
The 4th and the 5th – Lounging at the pool and eating ridiculous amount of food (and booze perhaps) is NECESSARY during a long weekend. Bravo, a job well done!
Nonetheless, I’m writing to you on behalf of [WEBSITE WITHHELD], a FREE online quit plan and social media based quit smoking program.
The urges for a cigarette can come out of nowhere- triggers are everywhere from coffee, to stress or even your boss.
Every Tuesday, we’re asking our blogger friends to post an image dedicated to a trigger. You may not smoke, or ever had to quit, but I’m sure you have triggers in your life that cause you to react a little out of the ordinary. It could be a celebrity photo, ex-bf, a fashion no-no, a picture of the traffic jam you’re stuck in- anything.
Your Tuesday post doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with smoking; it’s just a great way to share with your readers a little more about you and to bring attention to triggers. The first step to quitting smoking is identifying your triggers and learning how to overcome them.
Let me know your thoughts. We’d love to have you onboard.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Best Regards,
[NAME WITHHELD]
I laugh. I die. I MUST respond. So I did. It went a little something like this:
Hi [NAME WITHHELD],
Thank you for taking the time to write me concerning your free online plan and social media based quit smoking program, [WEBSITE WITHHELD]. Admittedly I was taken aback by the email, but in a weird way, thank you for thinking of me. That said, I’d love to take the opportunity to explain why I was taken aback:
1) My stats suck. I have the bear minimum of followers on my blog, and although they are loyal, they are a small tribe. My stats are as follows:
a) TheLameSauce.com as per Google Analytics: Monthly average: 419 visitors
b) Facebook Fan Page: 81 fans (the last time I updated this was May 12, 2010)
c) Twitter follower: 475
I bring this up not to impress you (lets be honest here, it’s not impressive), but as a truth bomb. While I think my blog writings are of worth, I don’t have the numbers of literally hundreds of other blogs out there. I have nothing to offer you in this area, and I’m ok with that.
2) You mention my 4th of July post, The 4th on the 5th in your opening line, which shows you’ve actually visited my site. That’s a good thing. The next item of business is paying attention. You called it The 4th and the 5th. See the difference? It’s subtle, I know, but I pride myself in somewhat ironic titles to my otherwise boring drab.
3) You quoted me on the opening statement, again a good drop, but added your thoughts in parenthesis that only assumes things about me. It went something like this: Lounging at the pool and eating ridiculous amount of food (and booze perhaps) is NECESSARY during a long weekend. Yeah, no booze for me, I’m a recovering alcoholic.
4) Trigger? I want to make sure I understand this correctly: You want me to post something every Tuesday for your product as a trigger? Usually these types of things are done with some kind of monetary trade of some kind. I’m not asking for money, I’m not there with TheLameSauce.com, and that’s ok. No, it’s the assumption that I would randomly do something for you for free with no benefit to me. Yes, yes, you can call me a selfish bastard, but I don’t know you, I don’t owe you anything, and I think I’m worth more than that. I sit in front of a mirror telling myself that every day. I am baffled why you would assume that stoking my ego a little would make me jump at the chance to promote YOUR product with no real return to me. I don’t mean this as an insult to you, I’m just confused. That and you know what they say about ‘assume’.
5) Your product, an anti-smoking product, has no interest to me. you stated: You may not smoke, or ever had to quit, but Im sure you have triggers in your life that cause you to react a little out of ordinary. You’re right, I don’t smoke, and have never had to quit. If you had read past my first post, you might even know that I’m a cyclists. An avid one. A sport that isn’t conducive to smoking. While I’m not adverse to helping people be healthy and all that jazz, I’m not sure that this website/product has anything to do with what I write about EVER. Seriously. If you read my most recent post, it’s about stinking up my daughter’s bathroom with my shit and making her cry. You get me? You’re right though, I understand triggers. You’re getting this email aren’t you?
6) One of my triggers is NOT an ex-bf. I assume you mean boy friend, and not best friend, although now that I’ve said that you could probably lie to me and say it means best friend. So, if it’s boy friend, I’m a dude, married, and not into dudes. Call me old fashioned. If it’s best friends, thanks for bringing up a painful memory…my best friend died.
So, all of that said, even though you engaged my site, you engaged it pretty minimally. I don’t blame you, I really don’t. It’s tough work doing this. I have my own business that bases it’s advertising on various social media, and engaging bloggers, folks on Twitter and Facebook is difficult and time consuming for sure. We find that despite that, it is more than worth it as you develop your business around personal relationships. The catch is, we also offer monetary support for a blogger taking their time to talk about our business. In our case, we give them the product to review, and offer them a giveaway of one of our products. I realize you have a FREE website and service, so this may not apply, but even still, I have a hard enough time talking about the stuff I want to talk about without trying to plug an arbitrary product or website that approached me who doesn’t even care enough to figure out if I’m male or female.
Ok, I’m done. I guess I’ve put more time into this than is totally necessary and I’m going around the world to say ‘No Thanks’. Man, I need a smoke and a drink now.
I’ll be blogging about this, of course (names withheld, also of course).
The Lame Sauce
My poor wife worries about this because she doesn’t want it to happen to us. The truth is, we offer some monetary ‘payment’ for bloggers who talk about our stuff. We show respect. We actually READ your blogs. Respect usually begets respect. So, what do you think? To much? I dunno. I think you make the bed you sleep in. I also don’t think I was nearly as harsh as some I’ve read. I made just as much fun of myself as I did the pitch. I suppose at the very least you enjoyed this as much as I did.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::UPDATE:::::::::::::::::::::::::
I got a response. Admittedly I was disappointed in the response. I’m kind of an all or nothing kind of guy. Give me some fireworks or none at all. This is like a balloon that has been deflated. That’s deflated. Not even popped. It does raise some questions though: 1) did they read it? 2) do you they have form letters for their responses? and 3) did you REALLY just try and resell me on this thing? You decide:
Hi Gregg,
Thank you so much for taking the time in writing me back and voicing your concerns. I understand that this may not directly affect you, but smoking could a concern of one of your readers so that is why we reached out to you. The fact that you are an influencer of a healthy lifestyle makes your opinion more valuable for [Name Withheld].
I really appreciate your feedback and I will note it for future reference.
All the best,
[Name Withheld]
Amazing. So amazing. ::SIGH::
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m.. floored. And I thought the email I got a few weeks ago that opened with,
“Hi there, Blogger!” was bad.
Good. Lord. I think that your e-mail was POLITE, considering what could have been said.
I wonder if they’ll write back.
“Dude I’m sorry. I hate my job. They make me send out 25 of these e-mails a day. It’s a boring dull job.”
I do not think this was too harsh. In fact, I think it was hilarious and spot on. This is only the second blog of yours I’ve read and I like it. A lot.
Anyway, you never said what your imaginary triggers are for your imaginary smoking problem (past and present)…weird.
I think your reply was necessary, honest and direct without being rude. I love that you took the time to really address your concerns with [Name Withheld] because it is something that NW needs to read. Perhaps NW will take more time to read through a blog before quickly assuming things about a person. You know what they say about the word “assume”. When you assume, you make a “me” out of “u” and “ass”. No, no that…wasn’t it. When you assume, you make a “u” out of “ass” and me”. Well, dang it. Forget it. Anyway, I also liked your honesty about your numbers. I think your blog is worthy of more followers and I’m sure it will continue to grow and become the blog of which you always dreamed. Weren’t we all dreaming of blogs in Kindergarten? If someone asked us back then if we liked “blogs”, we would’ve said that we prefer Legos or Lincoln logs. Oh, I’m really on a tangent here… My blog is also a humor blog and, dadgummit, I think it’s funny (as do all the local nursing home residents I pay to read it)! I don’t have a trillion followers or Facebook fans (I’m only to a billion, dang it), but…it’s more about developing loyal readers at a steady pace…or just loyal readers. That’s what I tell myself anyway. Okay, sorry for the long post. Bottom line: your letter was excellent!!
I love your reply
Their concept is so entirely creepy — why would you want to traumatize your readers with subliminal messages that are intended to create anxiety, and a resulting need to go grab a pack of Marlboros? Bravo on your letter. Not sure if they deserved such a witty response but it was pretty fabulous.
As someone un-hip enough to work in old media (print?! egads!) I get a little confused about bloggers getting pissed about not being offered money in every pitch. A pitch is a proposal. Often, it’s just an idea. Where I come from (print!) it’s unethical to accept freebies, and there are bloggers who try to retain some level of impartiality by also refusing to accept payment for reviews — not that I’m saying anyone should operate that way. I’m just saying some people make that choice. So why is it so horrible for them to pitch an idea to you? You could just say no, right?
That said: I’m sure you did a nice job making that person feel like an ass, at the least for the booze comment. Cheers!
I’ve worked and run my own company doing design and marketing before. I’m ok with a proposal, but in looking at all the proposals I’ve ever written in my life (and there are a few, let me tell you) the thing that makes or breaks a pitch is the thought that goes into it. There was little though in this proposal. If you are going to send a pitch, which is just fine, you must be accurate, or it just looks unprofessional. As far as my time is concerned, I do believe my time is valuable. If I had a massive following, even more so as it pertains to a blog, that following is something that is built over time by putting in many hours of writing and connecting with people and building an audience. I could propose to NBC that they should talk about a product I’m pitching to them, and get air time, all for free, but they’d laugh at me. Legit proposal or not, their time is valuable. Why is any one else’s time more valuable than mine. The bottom line is this, though…I have none of this. My audience is small. I don’t blog for income (at least not here). That fact alone contributes to the lack of research and professionalism in the original proposal. Propose away. Do your research first. Besides, it’s not like I don’t take shots at myself here.
I’m totally with you on targeting your PR pitches. It irritates me to no end when people send me pitches and they clearly haven’t even looked at what I do.
But I feel like you’re suggesting that when the Today show does a segment on a restaurant, business or product, the PR company should offer to pay for the segment. It’s not advertising, it’s PR. A big part of PR is trying to drum up free press. And yes, you do that by suggesting relevant ideas to media outlets, not missing what the outlets do completely. It’s only the pay-to-play assumption that gets me.
Ells used a key word in the comment above: Relevant. What was missing from NW’s pitch was relevancy. That’s the problem that a lot of bloggers, myself included, have with these pitches. THEY’RE SPAMMING US. Plain and simple. They don’t take the time to read his blog, consider whether their pitch is appropriate for his space or their product relevant to his readers. They’re spraying and praying and no one appreciates that. Also many bloggers aren’t requiring monetary compensation for product reviews, however there’s an increasing number of pitches coming to us for reviewing products or sites with which we’ve had no experience and which the pitcher has no intention of providing us with for the purpose of the review. That’s just dumb. Why would we write a post reviewing a product or service we’ve never seen or used with or without compensation? Most of us like our readers and don’t feel that lying to them for money or for free is appropriate or beneficial to the long term growth of our blogs.
It’s not rocket science.
Great response Gregg. I didn’t think it was too much, personally.
You are awesome sauce!
I’m wondering how many response emails folks like ol’ NW get. To me, it’s usually just spam, which gets ignored. I hope he (or she?) takes the time to read this!
Holy crap!
What a cop out — that was totally a form response to your e-mail!
I wonder if they ever actually read the e-mails they get back.
One of my favorite PR pitches wanted me to review a baby product and host a giveaway (I don’t do either of those things . . . ever). The pitch writer claimed to have read and loved my blog. I emailed back that I was “pretty all sure” that they had not read my blog. Ever.
There was an ether silence of about 3 minutes, and then came this response . . .”Never mind.”
Loved that.